Do All Lives Really Matter?

Black Lives Matter. Never in the English language have three simple words been so fully loaded and evoked such a wide range of reactions. For Black and Brown people, this is a plea to have others acknowledge our value and recognize the disparities that exist within society, from the mundane to the extreme. For some White people, the phrase immediately puts them on the defensive and without much thought, elicits an instant response of, “All Lives Matter!”

The end of May 2020 presented a perfect storm to shine a light on the issues that created the phrase, “Black Lives Matter.” By that time, most of the United States had been locked down for two months due to the COVID-19 outbreak. We were all held captive in our homes, slowing things down significantly, reconnecting with our families, cooking at home more, appreciating the essential workers among us, and vowing to never again take for granted the things that are truly important: human contact, family, friendships, neighbors.

It was in that context that we first heard of the shooting of Ahmaud Arbery in Georgia. Arbery, a 25 year old young Black man, was jogging in his neighborhood when he was ambushed by three White men, at least one of which had a connection to law enforcement, and murdered in broad daylight. One of the assailants filmed the murder and provided a copy to law enforcement when the murder occurred in February, yet no one had been arrested when the story came out in May. Public outrage resulted in the Georgia Bureau of Investigations taking the case over, and those involved were finally charged three months after the fact.

Around the same time, we heard about Breonna Taylor, a 26 year old EMT who was shot eight times by police in Louisville, KY two months previously, on the evening of March 13th. In that case, the police entered her apartment unannounced, looking for a suspect that they already had in custody. Although Ms. Taylor was one of the heroes that we all vowed to appreciate so much, no one has been charged in her case, and the official report on the incident states that she had no injuries at the time of her death.

Fast forward to Memorial Day, May 25, 2020. On this day, two events happened that would engage the entire country and ultimately, the world.

First, Christian Cooper, a Black birdwatcher, asked a White dog owner, Amy Cooper (no relation) to leash her dog in an area of Central Park known as the Bramble. Ms. Cooper then proceeded to give all of us a Master Class on Racism 101. She stated on camera that she was going to call the police and falsely “tell them there’s an African-American man threatening my life” and then followed through on her threat in a frenzied manner, screaming for the cops to hurry. As I watched the video, all that I could think of was Carolyn Bryant, the White Mississippi woman who falsely accused 14 year old Emmett Till of making unwanted advances toward her, resulting in his lynching by two White men in 1955. Till’s murderers were acquitted by an all-White jury, and Ms. Bryant later admitted that her statement against Till was fabricated.

The second event on Memorial Day happened 1,200 miles from Central Park, in Minneapolis. George Floyd, a 46 year old Black man who had recently lost his security job due to COVID-19, was arrested on suspicion of using a counterfeit $20 bill. After he was handcuffed, he was pinned down on the street by a group of police officers with knees to his back and neck for 8 minutes and 46 seconds. The lead officer, Derek Chauvin, kept his knee pressed into Floyd’s neck with his hands casually in his pockets and a nonchalant look on his face. This was all on video, filmed by a 17 year old girl, as the crowd pleaded with the police to stop kneeling on him, and as he repeatedly stated he couldn’t breathe, called for his deceased mother, and eventually lost control of his bodily functions, suffocating to death.

Three days after the murder of George Floyd, a White UConn student, Peter Manfredonia, was arrested after a six day multi-state manhunt, for assault, kidnapping, multiple vehicle theft, and the murder of two people. When he was apprehended, did he receive a knee to the neck? No, Manfredonia was thirsty, so the police gave him water.

Five years ago, Dylann Roof, an avowed White Supremacist, entered a Black church in South Carolina, prayed with the congregants, then proceeded to slaughter nine of them and lead police on a multi-state manhunt. When he was apprehended in North Carolina the next day, was he placed in a chokehold? No, he was taken to Burger King because he was hungry.

George Floyd, like others before him, simply asked to breathe after being arrested for a minor offense, and was denied that basic right. In a country that claims to be founded on the principles of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, the first of those ideals is denied to Black and Brown people disproportionately on a regular basis, for petty offenses, and often for no offense at all. It is for that reason that the plea, Black Lives Matter, is being shouted from the rooftops. It is for that reason that the retort of All Lives Matter is not only tone deaf, but highly offensive and dismissive. As has been repeated countless times recently, all lives can’t matter by definition until Black lives do as well.

As the mother of three sons, I’ve spoken to each of them about what to do if the police ever pull them over, and what Driving While Black means. My oldest son is 25 years old and a PhD candidate studying sociology with a focus on race relations. How do I explain to him and his brothers that, no matter how upstanding a citizen you are (Christian Cooper, avid bird watcher, Harvard Graduate, Audobon Society Member) or how innocuous your activity (Ahmaud Arbery, jogger and Breonna Taylor, sleeping at home), your skin color could be the trigger resulting in your death? My sons, like myself, are fully aware of our value as human beings, but also painfully aware that the way that our country treats people who look like us doesn’t reflect or live up to that value.

A couple of days ago, my youngest son told me that he was amazed to be living through one of the biggest Civil Rights protests in history. It took the perfect combination of an International pandemic and back to back incidents to shine a light on the injustices that still plague us 52 years after the assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr and 65 years after the murder of Emmett Till.

Witnessing history in the making, and seeing protests around the world attended by people of every hue, makes me hopeful that we’re on the way to racial equality at last. Perhaps this is the jumpstart of a journey, with the destination being a place where the words, ‘All Lives Matter’ will actually ring true.

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